my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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