you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
they call him Oral-B. enough said
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
