I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
