very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
