Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
