belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
