420 ftw
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
