i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
