first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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