just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
