she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
