the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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