Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
