She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
