I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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