Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
