I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you will always have a special place in my vag
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
