Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
