Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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