Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm going to jail i love you
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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