There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
