Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
