yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
