oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
