Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
