oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
