I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
