sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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