When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize