dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
