Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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