I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize