How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
