Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
