Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
i out mim tonsoeep
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