Porn is love you can see.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
