But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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