where am i from again
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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