I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
