Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
vagina is talking i cant
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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