the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
