i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Can you bring me the toilet please
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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