What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
