He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
