you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
