Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
They have beer where we have blood.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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