elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
