Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
