A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
