scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
