As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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