I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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